Blue Sparks

I found a website today that had 200 billion digits of pi calculated. It just so happens I have a website that takes such a file and spits out an image of what those digits would look like if you assigned a colour to every number from 0 – 9. I figured that 200 billion was a little much, but the site I got them from splits them into chunks of 100 million. Previously I only used 4 million digits, this is due to the fact I once calculated them using my computer and then stuck them up on my website for the world..

So what I have done is modified my script to be able to seek through the digits, and show you a picture starting from anywhere in the first 100 million digits. It did not take a lot of extra work, and I think the result is quite pleasing. I am actually considering doing the same for ln, phi, and some other interesting constants.

Yes, this is truly nerdy stuff.

Jackie and I’s 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up shortly. We were wandering around the mall today, attempting to give each other gift ideas. I believe I know what I am getting her, but I do not think I have given her sufficient ideas yet. It is hard though, I do not even know what I want. But I am starting to get on a tangent… already! Afterwards we started talking about how I proposed.

For my 26th birthday Jackie had decided to throw me a surprise party. Unfortunately for her, I managed to figure out what was going on beforehand. My thought was to do a reverse-surprise and propose to her when I walked in the door. Let me tell you that Jackie is quite the snooper, or at least that is what her family always tells me. She has an uncanny ability to be able to shake a wrapped gift and tell you exactly what it is! So with this in mind I was quite nervous about having the ring in the apartment at the time. Especially since Christmas was nearing and presents were beginning to accumulate.

I was not really sure what day the party was, so I carried the ring around in my pocket for about a week. My hand was in there almost constantly making sure I had not lost it. Finally I figured everything out when my friends Don and Matthew got me out of the house, quite conveniently, during a weekend when Jackie was around. I was taken out to Bayshore Hobbies in Hamilton where Don was nice enough to buy me a 100 sided die for my birthday. The whole time we were out I was so nervous I thought I was going to puke!!

When we finally got back home my plan, as stated above, was to drop to one knee as soon as the words surprise were exclaimed in unison. What I had not anticipated was silly string!!!! I was bathed head to toe in the blasted stuff as soon as I opened the door, and lost my concentration entirely. I had to think quickly and regroup. I look back and say to myself “You should have just done it right there anyway,” but that’s hindsight. Instead I started drinking, it was my birthday party!

About an hour later I managed to pull my courage together and told everyone I had an announcement to make. I pulled Jackie into our dining room/living area and dropped to one kneee with everyone watching. The rest is history, although she still claims she never would have said yes if she were more sober at the time!

I have an addictive personality, I will be the first to admit. I have been that way as long as I can remember. When I find something I enjoy I will continue with it for a very long time. For example, I smoke. I have tried to quite on several occasions (and lied to an ex-girlfriend about actually quitting once), and even succeeded once. Sadly I took up the habit again about two years later. I drink coffee, a lot of coffee. I used to drink a lot of cola; I actually broke that habit because my stomach rebelled. Now, these are addictions that a lot of people have these days, I am definitely not alone, but there is one addiction which consumed me entirely: The Massively Multiplayer Online RPG.

The year was 2002; I was in college at the time. I was beginning my second co-op work term during the winter semester. I also had a girlfriend, of almost a year – the longest ever at the time.  (SIDE NOTE:, this is the same GF whom I lied to about smoking.  Not my best years, I must admit.)  Sadly it was not to last as someone else,  ‘something‘ else rather, came into my life shortly after. As you can guess from above, this was a MMO game.

I had beta tested a few years before for a game called Asheron’s Call being created by one Turbine Software. At the time I was not very interested. The beta came and went and I paid no heed to it. I was more into first person shooters and real time strategies at the time. I also had a real Dungeons and Dragons group to get my true geek on with, why bother online?

Flash back to the co-op work term. I was working for the same company I did the first term for, but the load was pretty light this time. I was working from my apartment and corresponding through email and telephone. To make a long story short, I was bored:  I had nothing to do and I had no desire to find anything else to do.

My playstation and my old video games were getting a little tiresome.  I decided to try one of those new MMO games I was hearing about on the Internet. My first attempt was at EverQuest, but it just did not seem right to me. I packed it up and traded it in (yes, you could still do this at the time).  I remembered playing the beta for AC, and looked it up. I could not find it in stores but managed to have a copy shipped to me. It was the begginning of the end for my social life.

I am sure that many people who will actually read this post know what these games are like, but I will explain it anyway. The game was like being on drugs. I was glued to the screen for 18 + hours a day. Yes, 18 hours of every day I was spending on this game. Always trying to make my character better, trying to compete against everyone else. I had to be the best! If that meant I needed a widget or a do-dad which could only be found by killing a super-rare monster a hundred times, I would do it. I could not stop myself.

I soon stopped calling my girlfriend. I could not talk to her and play at the same time. When she called me I would ignore the calls whenever possible and make up excuses later. When we did talk I tried to keep it short, any time that I was not spending on the game was time other people had to get ahead of me! When I went to see her, all I could think about was the game. It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up! Not of the woman whom I had told I loved…

Yes, this is exactly how I behaved back then. And as you can guess I was to lose her soon afterwards. There were other reasons, of course — and I will not enumerate them all here — but this is the one I look back upon and feel ashamed of. I let a video game control my life, and I lost something special because of it.

After she left me I went a little crazy.  I was stuck between a rock and a hard place – give up the game, or give up the girl. I told myself I really loved her, but I did not give up the game : I wanted both.  In the end I said some nasty things, none of which I can recall. I do, however, remember the reaction which they got me.  I was an immature 22 year old, but I say that with 8 years of retrospective. I would never have admitted it at the time.

All of that said and done, I quit the game forever 6 months later. I got a real job, since my money had run out. I could not devote the time I needed to it any more. When I quit, I had absolutely nothing to show for it except a still broken heart.

With that said, I am finished my story for today. And if you ask me to play an MMO, you will know the reason why I turn you down without even a second though.