I have an addictive personality, I will be the first to admit. I have been that way as long as I can remember. When I find something I enjoy I will continue with it for a very long time. For example, I smoke. I have tried to quite on several occasions (and lied to an ex-girlfriend about actually quitting once), and even succeeded once. Sadly I took up the habit again about two years later. I drink coffee, a lot of coffee. I used to drink a lot of cola; I actually broke that habit because my stomach rebelled. Now, these are addictions that a lot of people have these days, I am definitely not alone, but there is one addiction which consumed me entirely: The Massively Multiplayer Online RPG.
The year was 2002; I was in college at the time. I was beginning my second co-op work term during the winter semester. I also had a girlfriend, of almost a year – the longest ever at the time. (SIDE NOTE:, this is the same GF whom I lied to about smoking. Not my best years, I must admit.) Sadly it was not to last as someone else, ‘something‘ else rather, came into my life shortly after. As you can guess from above, this was a MMO game.
I had beta tested a few years before for a game called Asheron’s Call being created by one Turbine Software. At the time I was not very interested. The beta came and went and I paid no heed to it. I was more into first person shooters and real time strategies at the time. I also had a real Dungeons and Dragons group to get my true geek on with, why bother online?
Flash back to the co-op work term. I was working for the same company I did the first term for, but the load was pretty light this time. I was working from my apartment and corresponding through email and telephone. To make a long story short, I was bored: I had nothing to do and I had no desire to find anything else to do.
My playstation and my old video games were getting a little tiresome. I decided to try one of those new MMO games I was hearing about on the Internet. My first attempt was at EverQuest, but it just did not seem right to me. I packed it up and traded it in (yes, you could still do this at the time). I remembered playing the beta for AC, and looked it up. I could not find it in stores but managed to have a copy shipped to me. It was the begginning of the end for my social life.
I am sure that many people who will actually read this post know what these games are like, but I will explain it anyway. The game was like being on drugs. I was glued to the screen for 18 + hours a day. Yes, 18 hours of every day I was spending on this game. Always trying to make my character better, trying to compete against everyone else. I had to be the best! If that meant I needed a widget or a do-dad which could only be found by killing a super-rare monster a hundred times, I would do it. I could not stop myself.
I soon stopped calling my girlfriend. I could not talk to her and play at the same time. When she called me I would ignore the calls whenever possible and make up excuses later. When we did talk I tried to keep it short, any time that I was not spending on the game was time other people had to get ahead of me! When I went to see her, all I could think about was the game. It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up! Not of the woman whom I had told I loved…
Yes, this is exactly how I behaved back then. And as you can guess I was to lose her soon afterwards. There were other reasons, of course — and I will not enumerate them all here — but this is the one I look back upon and feel ashamed of. I let a video game control my life, and I lost something special because of it.
After she left me I went a little crazy. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place – give up the game, or give up the girl. I told myself I really loved her, but I did not give up the game : I wanted both. In the end I said some nasty things, none of which I can recall. I do, however, remember the reaction which they got me. I was an immature 22 year old, but I say that with 8 years of retrospective. I would never have admitted it at the time.
All of that said and done, I quit the game forever 6 months later. I got a real job, since my money had run out. I could not devote the time I needed to it any more. When I quit, I had absolutely nothing to show for it except a still broken heart.
With that said, I am finished my story for today. And if you ask me to play an MMO, you will know the reason why I turn you down without even a second though.
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